Season of Waiting

And just like that, we were comfortable; the weight and pressure lifted off our shoulders. I could almost see my family sigh of relief as we entered familiar territory; everything we have ever known. It’s a bubble that consists of places and feelings we know like the back of our hands. Winding country roads with orange maple trees and small grocery stores you have never heard of. People who hold doors open for you. Vast fields of cows grazing and clear skies of weather that makes your lungs cold, but in a good way. Homes on a hill or mountain as a train goes by. A warm house full of close family and friends, people I can be myself around. My family transformed by only two days of being here, wearing the trip well with wide smiles. Long rides in a truck with dogs in the back while blasting country music. This is what I know. This is what makes me happy. The more north we go, the more I can just close my eyes and feel myself smile all over. I am going home. As we entered Aberdeen late at night on the 22, I laid my head in my brother’s lap and listened to my family reminisce and talk about memories or how God has orchestrated all this. We drove to our old neighborhood and pulled into our good friends’ driveway. I looked down five houses to the place we used to call home. I imagined my six-year-old self riding bikes with friends on a summer day, or playing Four Square for hours. I missed it a little, but I feel content and know that chapter is closed. A new family with children now owns a house of our memories.

I look back on Christmas break, and I think about how grateful I was. Grateful to see so many friends and family and to refresh me of home. The goodbyes are horrible, as I always leave West Virginia with a tear-stricken face. I have said the word goodbye so many times, and it has now become a word I am too accustomed to, worn and tired from the countless occasions. The two words become cold and redundant as they lose their meaning. Leaving people you love and wondering if you will see them in a year or 6 months is painful, and unfortunately prevalent in my life. Nevertheless, I am so blessed to have family and friends that make it so hard to leave. Now that I am back in Miami, I find myself in a new season. This new year will bring a lot of changes and new starts, but first there is a time of waiting. A time for patience as I prepare for what is coming. Waiting is difficult, especially for me. It’s part of my “type-one enneagram” personality. I want situations to be perfect and I want it to happen right away. Having to deal with circumstances that are temporary and not ideal is difficult, especially when you have to wait for the better to come.

But I know the better is coming, it’s just the period of waiting that is killing me. Wanting to drop everything and sit back because I know what is going to happen. I am learning that the best way to deal with this is to keep living as if you weren’t waiting for anything. Fulfill your purpose and give it everything you’ve got, until the very last minute. Keep working for Him, spreading His love. I have come to know part of my job in Miami: set an example of God’s goodness. The people I have influenced may not know it now, but somewhere down the road, I hope they come to know Him and everything beautiful He has to offer. Just because there is this period of rest or anticipation, we need to keep doing our jobs to the best of our abilities, whatever He has called us to do. I am working on doing this, right now with my situation. Some of you may know, some may not, but it doesn’t matter. I have to keep living for Him and praising His goodness because that is all I can focus on right now…To keep me steady and true.

“Be still in the presence of the Lord. Wait patiently for Him to act” (Psalm 37:7). We all make these plans, and sometimes it’s even God’s doing. Then there is a gap between both plans, and you are stuck in transition. I am learning to give it all to Him, lay it down and keep giving it 100% at the stage I am now. That is all that can make sense when in reality I am weary, and jumping into the unknown. He can be my eyes and ears while I keep living tirelessly for Him.

Keep it real,

Meghan Dunn