little victories

When you aren’t winning big, the next best thing is winning small. It’s hard to progress when you aren’t in ideal circumstances. You step back and look at the huge, giant, messy, overwhelming picture, and you see that you are losing. Losing happiness, hope, peace, strength, and encouragement. But if you step a little closer, you start to see little victories. If you are looking at the whole picture, they seem meaningless, but up close, they are meaningful. Little steps. They eventually lead to bigger ones.

I started to feel the move to Miami’s effects the first week of school. The summer was great. I got a little taste of what it was like in Miami, went to the Keys, drank tropical milkshakes, even had visitors. But it wasn’t vacation. That’s where it hit hard. When school began, it wasn’t my normal, at least last year’s normal. The people you are used to seeing, you don’t see them anymore. The people you sit at lunch with, you don’t sit with anymore. You know you’re alone when the only friend you have is your brother. It’s hard because you become so used to being friends and talking with people on a daily basis, that when you move 600 miles away, it’s like someone shut you in a room and locked the door, isolated. Yes, I make new friends. But it’s not always easy and something I like to do. So, yeah, school has been rough.

It got to the point where I almost wanted to transfer schools. Then I realized that I would be just as unhappy. So I had no choice but to accept it. Accept that this is how my life is this year. Accept that it’s going to be difficult. Accept that I cannot change where I am at this point in my life. My mom would ask me, “Where are your feet right now?” I would look down and think, “They are on the ground. In Miami. That’s where I am.” Once you accept situations, only then can things get better. It won’t look like it, but if you simply keep an open mind and take a step forward, the world seems a little brighter.

I still feel not as happy here, but I can deal with not liking something as much. The hardest was overcoming the difficult; pushing through that initial overwhelming bout of fear, hardship, and doubt. I hated my soccer coach. I didn’t agree with the way he instructed, played the game, and his morals. I hit my very low at halftime during a game when I left the bench crying. Coach had thrown my words back at the team and twisted them after I had a conversation with him about a formation. He made me feel like my opinions didn’t matter. Like I knew nothing. I did work it out, though, stayed with it, and found a rhythm. I found a way to laugh at what he says or give him what he wants to hear, but sort of with a double meaning. To me, that is a victory. A small one, but it has made it easier and more enjoyable to be on the team. When I first started school, I thought my chemistry teacher was the meanest teacher I ever had. Slowly, I won her over with my work ethic, grades, and questions. Victory #2. If I get an A on a test, that’s a win. I was literally jumping up and down when I found out I got an A on my first AP World History quiz. Yesterday, I finished my online class. When my dad surprised me with Chick-Fil-A after practice…victory. When I watch The Office with my family… victory. All of these things seem like nothing. They may be your normal, but right now I am soaking it all up. Every win, every little thing, because it is the only things that will keep me together. To keep from falling apart, you have to focus on something. So focus on the little things. When you have a bunch of little victories, it can feel like a big victory, so that is something.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” (John 1:5). Even in the worst of times when you feel like you have nothing going for you and nobody there for you, there is something to hold onto. Light literally defeats darkness. If you turn a flashlight on in a dark room, there is light. It may be more dark, but once you see that light, it accumulates. There is hope. God doesn’t hang you out to dry. He doesn’t bring you someplace and leave nothing for you. It’s not always easy at first, but with faith, drive, and perseverance, you can overcome the difficulties. Find the little victories and you have found the light. Look down. That’s where your feet are. Now look up, that’s where God is. You are in the right place.

Keep it real,

Meghan Dunn