The Military Child

April. The month of the military child.

I honestly love this month.  What it represents. I am so proud to be the daughter of a Green Beret, a man who has been to places and done things that I cannot even fathom. The amount of grit you have to have to do what my dad does and countless other fearless soldiers is overwhelming, and every time I think about it, pride surges through me.

A week ago my brother and I sat down with my dad and watched the movie “12 Strong.” This movie takes place after 9/11 when they sent the first ODA team to fight the Taliban. Yeah, maybe I was gushing over Chris Hemsworth the whole time, but the movie was incredible. The number of times we had to pause it and ask a million questions, added a good 30 minutes, but I caught myself in a whole other perspective. Even I, someone who has been raised around the military, gained a little understanding of what my dad has been through. I could never fully understand or be able to comprehend what he has done, but I learned a lot. We would stop the movie, and my dad would share his own stories. We watched Hemsworth ride horseback on rough terrain, talk to warlords, fight the Taliban and would ask our dad, “Have you done this?” His usual response is  “Hollywood is Hollywood.” Sometimes He’d give us a slight smile and nod, pride in his smirk, but something in his knowing eyes told me I would never understand. He has done unimaginable, great things, and I get to be his daughter. That is amazing.

I was also able to intensely relate to the movie. Every emotion that the families felt, I knew too well. In one scene, the soldier is gathering his belongings in big plastic crates in the garage, getting ready to leave for war. His wife and son immediately knew what was happening when they saw. I have sat in the garage and watched my dad pack numerous times, feeling the dread and anger of the upcoming deployment day. I once saw an orange, heart pillow that is tied on the ends with the words, “I love you” in black marker poking out of one of his bins. I had made that in fourth grade before one of his major deployments and he has brought it everywhere since.

I have always been in awe of my dad. I see him as this strong hero that will always protect, but my mom is the strongest person I know. While my dad was serving our country, she kept everything running at home. I watched as she closed the door behind my dad when he was leaving for Afghanistan fall of my fourth-grade year. She wiped the tears from her eyes and stood in front of my two younger brothers and me who were crying on the couch. She put her hands on her hips and said, “Alright, guys. We can do this.” Even though her husband just left for nine months to a dangerous place, she was being strong for her children, always has been. She went to work and we went to school, it was a hard day.

My mom has taken care of three kids single-handedly for the majority of the time. She has not only worked full time but made sure we were getting everything any normal kid with two parents were getting. She sacrificed. So much. She drove us to school, soccer, cooked dinner, cleaned the house, taught students (NOT an easy job), and made sure we were loved all with a smile on her face. It amazes me.

My parents. They shaped me. My dad’s job became our lifestyle, and I am better for it. Sometimes I don’t think military kids get enough credit. Sure, a month, but it isn’t acknowledged enough. We have seen our fathers or mothers leave for months at a time, pulling ourselves together for reality. We prepare ourselves for when our soldier would come home months after a deployment to say where he or she is off to next. Crawled into our mother’s beds because of anxiety for them. Talked to our parent on Skype while they are in Afghanistan, (or some other remote place in the world) trying to fit everything into a short conversation. Wished for them during Christmas’, birthdays, and Easters. Saw families that had both parents, longing for some normalcy. Matured faster than most kids because we had to step up and help…no choice. Moved countless times, starting life over again and again. Made friends with kids who have lived in the same place their whole lives, never able to really relate to anyone. We have seen our parent at home struggle to keep everything going, the day our soldier gets home is marked on the calendar, (maybe in pencil because it would probably change) And that day is the best day. The day when we all cry again, but tears of relief…then adjust to having them home. We are some of the strongest children and teens I know, and I can’t help but think how much more resourceful, resilient, cultured, and adaptive we are going to be in the future. It is who we are, and it’s so cool.

Yet it’s so not cool. It’s great to be tough and smart and strong, but what we have had to go through to get there is less than cool. Again, it’s our story and we are unique for that. The pride I have for who my family is, what we have been through, and what we are becoming is immense. Every move we have made and deployment we have endured has been backed by Faith, that is not an easy thing to do. I know that it is a very cliche thing to say that I wouldn’t be who I am without those troubles and hardships that come with military life, however; that is the reality. To all of my fellow military brats: yes, it’s hard and difficult, but I truly believe that we are part of the future leaders of America, and we are growing stronger for it.

I think that military kids are sometimes overlooked and slip through the cracks. Going to new schools and making new friends, living an ever-changing life is tedious. If you see a new kid at school, please be their friend, even if they are moving in another short year. Chances are, you will be life long friends as I have many from several different places. I can’t emphasize enough how much they need your love, support, and friendship because I have been there. Being new is uncomfortable and scary, any act of kindness goes a long way.  Military families need help, too. The moms or dads left behind have to find ways to get their kids to school or sports and figure out dinner, homework, work, pets, and the many things that will break over the course of deployment.  It is a lot of stressful work. This is coming from a teen who has witnessed struggle at home to keep everything going and have had so many loving people reach out and support our family.

I cannot fit every detail, emotion, and fact that constitutes military life into this blog. I just want to give you a glimpse of it to either relate to other military families or help to educate people who don’t understand. I encourage you to watch “12 Strong”; I am so appreciative of the accurate demonstration of military life and what these strong soldiers and families go through. It has inspired me to write this because it is so significant that people have a little perspective of this life, why we stand up for the flag and this great country. Not because of personal beliefs or agendas, but because there are men, women, and children who have sacrificed so much, and who continue to sacrifice. I am so proud of who I am, what I come from, and what I stand for. Please support and love these military families as they remain strong and resilient every day. Thank you to those who have served, including the family members who are left behind. Thank you to the neighbors, grandparents, teachers, and friends who stand by these families’ sides. I admire and am grateful for all of you.

In my lifetime of being the daughter of a Green Beret and a warrior mother, I have learned to have unwavering faith in His plans. Learned to adapt to change and different environments. Learned to give 100% into every place. Learned to be strong for my family. The military has gifted me with a fire and a strong belief system, forcing me to build it over the years. As much as I have hated seeing my dad leave for months at a time or moving to a new place, the military is part of my identity. It has sparked a certain strength and assurance in myself that I cannot get anywhere else. Every city I move to, school I attend, prayer that I pray for my dad, I do it with undeniable faith in my God. This is the plan He has laid before me, and I know He has called me for a certain purpose in this uncertain world. I will always walk by faith, and that is honestly the only way to live a military life.

So here’s to all the military kids. You are the real ones.

Meghan Dunn